Wednesday, January 16, 2008

Getting Ready For Some Fishin'

At this time of year I get anxious to to some fishing. To get pumped up I go through my fishing tackle and think of past fishing stories. I have many tales some funny, some scary and many enjoyable. Has any of the following happened to you or someone you know?

Wednesday, January 2, 2008

It's Colder Than A Witch's Tit

Here in NC is has turned cold! How cold you ask? Well those of you that live up North or in the Mid-West might not think the twenties with wind is all that cold but a couple of days ago it was in the mid to low 70’s here. So this weather for us is colder than a witch’s tit, a phrase I use sometimes and have always wondered where it came from. So…………

So how did it get started? Well I asked Google and found the following “information”.

Colder than a witch’s tit
When the temperature falls low enough to freeze mercury in the bulb or tit of a weather witch or what is commonly known as a mercury thermometer it is said
to be as cold as a witch’s tit.


The simple explanation is that “colder than a witch’s tit” is just a vivid metaphor, like “hotter than the hinges of hell.” Since a witch is in league with Satan, presumably she has no maternal feelings. Thus the medium by which she would suckle a child is, well, cold as a witch’s tit.

But there’s some history behind this. A witch’s tit (or witch’s teat, to use the older spelling) supposedly left a marking that witch hunters and courts would look for on the body of an accused person. Supposedly, witches would suckle their familiars, and sometimes the Devil himself, from this “unholy” body part. To find these marks, as well as insensitive spots on the skin called devil’s marks–caused by the Devil’s claws or teeth–the suspects were stripped, shaven, then closely examined for any blemishes, moles, or even scars that could be labeled as diabolical. To find marks invisible to the eye, the examiner would poke the victim inch by inch with a blunt needle (called a bodkin) until they found a spot that didn’t feel pain or bled. Discovery of these marks or spots–one supposes they would be considered cold since they were a sign of communion with the Devil–would be “proof” of the person’s dealings with Scratch, so they would be shown in full court before the execution.
Ouch!!! Those perverted bastards!!!!

CAMBRIDGE, Mass. -- A new study, conducted by researchers at the Massachusetts Institute of Technology, has found the heat capacity of witches' tits to be significantly higher than previously believed.

"For years, the public has assumed that the breasts of witches maintain temperatures at or around the freezing point of water," said team leader Phillip McCracken in a telephone interview. "Through a series of revolutionary experiments, we have been able to determine that they actually achieve an average temperature of 72 degrees Fahrenheit."
The researchers do not currently understand why witches' tits -- while certainly warmer than expected -- are nearly 27 degrees cooler than the tits of normal humans.

"Unfortunately, theory behind the thermodynamics of thaumaturgic mammaries is sadly under-investigated," added McCracken.


Yep! Just As I Thought.

Magdalena Chancerly, the president of the National Organization of Wiccans in Salem, received the news of the scientists' findings with enthusiasm. "You can only hear 'cold as a witch's tit' so many times before becoming offended. I, for one, am glad to have my breasts associated with the comfortable climate of spring instead of the chill of winter."